james_the_evil1 (james_the_evil1) wrote,

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SO, a few updates
Got the new laptop. It rocks. There's a learning curve with the pen but it kicks ASS for many things. It also came with speech recognition which's fun to play with. This might mean I actually WRITE a bit more.

Work continues to suck, but here're a couple of funny stories from the phones

So, the other night we lost phone service to an entire state. The laser that routes for the state died. Naturally, the bulk of our calls for the next few hours was people going "ZOMG, no phone, how will I LIVVVVVE!!!!!eleventyone111." Well DUH, you could use your CELL...You know, the one you're using to complain to ME on.
So anyway, I'm about to go home and the phone chimes in with its alert message, letting me know it's someone in the state with the outage.
Me:Thank you for calling XXXXXXX Communications, this's James in the telephone division, are you calling about the outage in your area?
Customer:Yes I am! The last person who answered the phone there didn't seem to speak English and was asking me for my social security number for no good reason! She didn't say there was an outage!
Me:Yes ma'am, I apologize but currently service is down statewide in your location. We're asking folks for their account information so we can document their time out of service to make sure you get proper credit issues if it's due.
C:Oh! It's for a CREDIT! Well then my telephone number's xxx-xxx-xxxx, my name's XXXX XXXXXXX, and the last 4 of my social are XXXX.
M:Thank you ma'am, I have your information right here & I've made a note on your account. We're working hard to get service restored ASAP and I'm very sorry for the inconvenience. Is there anything else I can do to help you today?
C:Well, how LONG has the service been down? Have I been missing calls ALL day?
M:No ma'am, service has only been down for about 2 1/2 hours. (it was just past 10 PM EST at this point, she was a few hours west)
C:Oh, ok. Well do you think it'll be up in the next hour?
M:I really have no way of knowing ma'am.
C:Well it'd better be back up in the next hour! I'm waiting on a call from my boyfriend, and I need to talk to him before my husband gets home!!
M:*hits mute button on phone, laughs hysterically, and gets "what's wrong witht he weirdo" looks from everyone*
M:*composes myself*
M:Well ma'am, couldn't you just call him from your cell? (since she was, of course, using that to call me)
C:Oh NO! My husband sees that bill and strange numbers might make him suspicious! It's got to be from the house phone where he can't track calls!.
M:Well we'll get on that right away ma'am. Have a good night and than you for calling XXXXXXX Communications

And people say poly relationships are tough to manage! LOL

Of course no one EVER orders porn via their cable co. But there might be some things about your relatives that surprise you...

So, people spend a STUPID amount of $ renting porn via their cable service. Seriously, it's $10-$20 per porno per view. Whole 'nother rant about that coming up.
But of course no one actually RENTS this stuff, so they're always SHOCKED when it appears on their bill.
We were trading stories tonight & one of the guys won for "best 'I never order PORN!" story."
A customer called in who'd been previously informed that almost $100 a month of hardcore had been ordered at her home for the last few months. She'd done a little checking & got supervisor JH on the phone.
First off, she wanted to know the NAMES of the movies, so he got the very embarrasing task of reading them off. Interestingly, they were all the SAME genre.
Then she asked the big question:
Customer:I have 5 boxes in my house. Can you tell me which boxes were used to order this?
JH: Yes ma'am, I can tell you the individual code numbers of the boxes. Please hold. (he checks). Ma'am? I have the information. All the films were ordered from the same box. It's number XXX-XXX-XXX.
Customer: Oh REALLY? Hold on a minute, please.
*JH hears customer stomp off, hears a door being slammed open, and then hears her scream*
Customer:GRANDMA!!!!!!!!!! What is WRONG with you!
Customer comes back & explains that not only is she upset that it was done, but it was also a shock to find out her 70 year old grannie, who'd come to live with them when grandpa passed away, was in to hard core LESBIAN porn.
Some things about our elders we just don't need to know.

California's looming. Hopefully something good will come from it. Got a couple of shoots scheduled. Was TRYING to schedule some for THIS weekend but the models seemed to have all flaked *sigh* Damn I hope I get a new job while I'm out there.

Heard a cool song called "Two Sisters" today by some band called "Fiction Plane" that I'd never heard of. Sounded kind of 311/Sublime type ska/reggae rock & the lead singer's voice sounded familiar. Turns out it's Sting's kid's band, he sounds a lot like his dad. They're touring opening for The Police on their reunion tour upcoming. The song's on the upcoming album & I can't find it anywhere yet but you can listen to it on their MySpace page, along with a few other tunes.

Oh, tacit and joreth, you might find this scientific analysis of whether or not God really DOES kill a kitten every time you masturbate interesting:

And I almost forgot! New reality show coming out: "Pirates!" where you can win a million in gold coins by being the best pirate!
Hey datan0de, I don't see anyone giving $ away to be a NINJA :-p
Tags: california, music, polyamory, porn, tablet pc
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